Home
33 2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.
34 Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U Continue to do so.
35 Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
36 .How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.
37 A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.
38 Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
39 Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
hoga....???
40 Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki
break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.
41 Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!
42 Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!
43 Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
44 Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
45 Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
46 Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
47 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions
48 Man before Marriage I like Airtel....”Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network
Follows."
49 Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!
gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI. ..
50 They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense
51 It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!
52 It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to
protect a country BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ......KAAMWALI
53 After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st
patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch
& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI
54 What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
55 Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja.
Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?
Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!!
56 It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
57 A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!
58 Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.
59 Do sardar jee motor cycle per bomb lay kar jarahay thay,
Rastay main speed breaker ki waja say jhatkay lag rahay thay,
Sardar jee ka dost bola yaar aaram say gari chalao kahi bomb na
phatjain,
Sardar jee...Oo tussi fiker hi naker assi kay pass dosra bhi tu bomb
hay.
60 aik sharabi raatkay waqat apnay dost kay sath jaraha hota hay. rastay
main talab per nazar parhti hay tu us main us ko chand dikhta hay woh
apny dost say
kahta hay yaar ye kia hay.dost kehta hay chand hay. sharabi hairan ho
ker
yaar hum log itnay upper aagaiy
61 Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai
kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner. Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
62 A sardar calls another sardar on the phone & says "Hi, Main Bol Raha
Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain,Ithe bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"
63 Ek pathan Cycle chalaty aur gungunaty howe kahin ja raha tha rasty
mein ek Aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli "Break nahi maar sakty thy kia ??? "
Pathan herat se... "Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida."
64 Burhiya:Aray dekho iss kambakhat maare ko mere sath larki ja rahi he
osse nahi dekh raha kab se mujhe taare chala ja ria he...!
65 Aadmi:Aray.. ! amma darasal ye kabaria he purana maal dekh raha he.
66 Ustaad: Bete, aap jab hanste hen to aap ke dimples parte hen aap bohat
ache lagte hen dil chahta he aap ko piyar karloon.
67 Bacha: Sir, mujhse ziyada dimple to mere ammi ke parte hen.
68 <o>Aik lerki apny boy friend k sath nai garri main long drive par
ja rahi thi
achanak larki kehnay lagi.....suno !
kia tum aik haath se garri chala saktay ho ?
kioon nahi.....larkay ne bare fakher se garden akraaii...
larki ne aahista se kaha........ ..
"to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo "
69 Sardar : Apne bete se bola, Bevakuf...kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek
bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu.
70 Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....
71 Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."
Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usey SURPRISE doonga..!"
72 Hum Ney Un Ki Yaad Main Ro Ro Kar Matkey Bhar Diye
Wo Bewafa Aye Aur Naha Kar Chal Diye
73 Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam ,
Shayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam
74 Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nehi hai ,
Tere sang ho zindagi aisa bi koi scene nehi hai
Iss dunya mein, tum he sab sey haseen ho
mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho
75 rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum
76 kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par,
dil mien junoon tha...aankhoon mien khoon tha,
uthaya ussay masal dene k liye par khayal aya,
kambakht mien apna hi khoon thA
77 hi u all
i hv one puppy 4 u
1puppy 4 ur friend
1 puppy for ur fri ke fri
u know why???
becuz....... .....
ajj hi meray dogi nay 10 puppies ko janam dia hai
78 Civic VTI jisai kehete ho wo gadi tumaree hai
Jisey nokia 6600 kehte ho wo cell tumhara hai
Jinhai tum aamon k baghat kehte ho woh baghain tumharee hain
Kaho ik di kaho ik din
Ager sab kuch ye mera hai to sab kuch dedo ik din
Gari apni mujhe tum dedo cell dedo doosrey din
merey hathon mai kaghzat rakh ker dafa ho ik din
Dafa ho ik din dafa ho ik din...
79 dabe mein daba dabe mein kharghosh,
uncle nae ankh mari anute behosh......
80 teen dost tha phalla patan dosra panjabe or tisra memon.Ramzan ka
maina tha dostoo na bolaa ka yar zakat dana ha too app log kasa datta ho.too phala dost patan na bolla ka hum khali maidan ma za kar gol paira banatha ha or asman ma paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa paira ka bhair zata ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo andar hotta ha woo humara hotta ha .fer pajabe na bolla ka hum ak lakir kachtta ha or paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa left hand par zatta ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo right hand par woo humara.fer memon dost sa pucha ka woo kasa kartta ha too usna kaha ka astag feroollha app log assa zakat kartta ho yea lakir fakir keya ha
hum khali maidan ma zatta ha or asman ma husal tha ha zoo paisa asman ma gheya woo zakat ka or zoo paisa necha aaya woo humara.
81 Admi Naai Se Meri TERE NAAM Wali Cutting Kar Do.
Naai Uski Tind Kar Deta Hai
Admi Ghussay Se Ye Kya Kiya Hai ???
Naai Main Kya Karoon Main Ne Dekhi Hi End Se Hai.
82 Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the
clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This
time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
83 A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he
feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The
lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm
waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front
of me, do you?"
84 Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
85 Safed saari par jab tum laalbindi lagati ho
khuda ki kasam ambulance nazar aati ho
farq sirf itna hai ke wo ghayal ko le jati hai
or tum ghayal kar jati ho
86 janab patan: eak dookan per jata hai aor kata hai40 wala chawal hai.
dukan daar: je hai
janab patan:eak kulo dado
dukan daar: je janab
janab patan : 40 wala chawal kitna ka diya hai.
87 Aik haseen-o-jameel adaakara ke ghar aag lag gaee ..aag par qabu panay
main 10 minut lagay.....aor. ......aag bujhany walon per qabu panay
main
40 minut lagay
88 Aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par phool daal raha hota he
Aur brabar men bhi aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par chawal daal raha
hota he.
Pehla Aadmi doosre se kehta he " Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab
uthe ga?"
Doosra dost:"Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga
89 uncle aik bachay se kehte hain : beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar
mujhe pasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon ga
bacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay .... !!!!
90 aik dost dosray se : yaar har party mien tum yehi kurta kyun pehantay
ho dosra dost : kyun ke yeh mera khandani kurta hai mere par dada ne
pehna phir dada ne pehna phir mere walid ne pehna iss liye main bhi pehanta hoon
pehla dost : ohh acha .. khier yeh batao k tumhari umar hogai hai
shadi ki tum kartay kyun nahi ..kya koi larki pasand nahi ati
dosra dost : nahi yaar larkiyaan to bohat pasand ati hain
pehla dost : to phir kyun nahi kartay
dosra dost : yaar mere par dada ne nahi ki dada ne nahi ki mere walid
ne nahi ki to phir main kaise karloon ??
91 Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway
station ticket counter with two men ahead of him.
'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front.
He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.'
the second man asked & was handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!'
'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.
'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh
92 The Equation:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!
93 Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.
94 Exams:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!
95 A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of
AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom
96 Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
97 Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we dont need it.
98 Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
99 Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?
Customer : What other colours do you have?
100 My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.
34 Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U Continue to do so.
35 Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
36 .How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.
37 A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.
38 Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
39 Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
hoga....???
40 Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki
break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.
41 Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!
42 Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!
43 Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
44 Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
45 Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
46 Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
47 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions
48 Man before Marriage I like Airtel....”Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network
Follows."
49 Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!
gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI. ..
50 They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense
51 It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!
52 It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to
protect a country BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ......KAAMWALI
53 After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st
patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch
& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI
54 What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
55 Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja.
Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?
Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!!
56 It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
57 A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!
58 Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.
59 Do sardar jee motor cycle per bomb lay kar jarahay thay,
Rastay main speed breaker ki waja say jhatkay lag rahay thay,
Sardar jee ka dost bola yaar aaram say gari chalao kahi bomb na
phatjain,
Sardar jee...Oo tussi fiker hi naker assi kay pass dosra bhi tu bomb
hay.
60 aik sharabi raatkay waqat apnay dost kay sath jaraha hota hay. rastay
main talab per nazar parhti hay tu us main us ko chand dikhta hay woh
apny dost say
kahta hay yaar ye kia hay.dost kehta hay chand hay. sharabi hairan ho
ker
yaar hum log itnay upper aagaiy
61 Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai
kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner. Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
62 A sardar calls another sardar on the phone & says "Hi, Main Bol Raha
Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain,Ithe bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"
63 Ek pathan Cycle chalaty aur gungunaty howe kahin ja raha tha rasty
mein ek Aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli "Break nahi maar sakty thy kia ??? "
Pathan herat se... "Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida."
64 Burhiya:Aray dekho iss kambakhat maare ko mere sath larki ja rahi he
osse nahi dekh raha kab se mujhe taare chala ja ria he...!
65 Aadmi:Aray.. ! amma darasal ye kabaria he purana maal dekh raha he.
66 Ustaad: Bete, aap jab hanste hen to aap ke dimples parte hen aap bohat
ache lagte hen dil chahta he aap ko piyar karloon.
67 Bacha: Sir, mujhse ziyada dimple to mere ammi ke parte hen.
68 <o>Aik lerki apny boy friend k sath nai garri main long drive par
ja rahi thi
achanak larki kehnay lagi.....suno !
kia tum aik haath se garri chala saktay ho ?
kioon nahi.....larkay ne bare fakher se garden akraaii...
larki ne aahista se kaha........ ..
"to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo "
69 Sardar : Apne bete se bola, Bevakuf...kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek
bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu.
70 Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....
71 Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."
Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usey SURPRISE doonga..!"
72 Hum Ney Un Ki Yaad Main Ro Ro Kar Matkey Bhar Diye
Wo Bewafa Aye Aur Naha Kar Chal Diye
73 Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam ,
Shayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam
74 Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nehi hai ,
Tere sang ho zindagi aisa bi koi scene nehi hai
Iss dunya mein, tum he sab sey haseen ho
mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho
75 rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum
76 kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par,
dil mien junoon tha...aankhoon mien khoon tha,
uthaya ussay masal dene k liye par khayal aya,
kambakht mien apna hi khoon thA
77 hi u all
i hv one puppy 4 u
1puppy 4 ur friend
1 puppy for ur fri ke fri
u know why???
becuz....... .....
ajj hi meray dogi nay 10 puppies ko janam dia hai
78 Civic VTI jisai kehete ho wo gadi tumaree hai
Jisey nokia 6600 kehte ho wo cell tumhara hai
Jinhai tum aamon k baghat kehte ho woh baghain tumharee hain
Kaho ik di kaho ik din
Ager sab kuch ye mera hai to sab kuch dedo ik din
Gari apni mujhe tum dedo cell dedo doosrey din
merey hathon mai kaghzat rakh ker dafa ho ik din
Dafa ho ik din dafa ho ik din...
79 dabe mein daba dabe mein kharghosh,
uncle nae ankh mari anute behosh......
80 teen dost tha phalla patan dosra panjabe or tisra memon.Ramzan ka
maina tha dostoo na bolaa ka yar zakat dana ha too app log kasa datta ho.too phala dost patan na bolla ka hum khali maidan ma za kar gol paira banatha ha or asman ma paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa paira ka bhair zata ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo andar hotta ha woo humara hotta ha .fer pajabe na bolla ka hum ak lakir kachtta ha or paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa left hand par zatta ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo right hand par woo humara.fer memon dost sa pucha ka woo kasa kartta ha too usna kaha ka astag feroollha app log assa zakat kartta ho yea lakir fakir keya ha
hum khali maidan ma zatta ha or asman ma husal tha ha zoo paisa asman ma gheya woo zakat ka or zoo paisa necha aaya woo humara.
81 Admi Naai Se Meri TERE NAAM Wali Cutting Kar Do.
Naai Uski Tind Kar Deta Hai
Admi Ghussay Se Ye Kya Kiya Hai ???
Naai Main Kya Karoon Main Ne Dekhi Hi End Se Hai.
82 Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the
clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This
time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
83 A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he
feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The
lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm
waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front
of me, do you?"
84 Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
85 Safed saari par jab tum laalbindi lagati ho
khuda ki kasam ambulance nazar aati ho
farq sirf itna hai ke wo ghayal ko le jati hai
or tum ghayal kar jati ho
86 janab patan: eak dookan per jata hai aor kata hai40 wala chawal hai.
dukan daar: je hai
janab patan:eak kulo dado
dukan daar: je janab
janab patan : 40 wala chawal kitna ka diya hai.
87 Aik haseen-o-jameel adaakara ke ghar aag lag gaee ..aag par qabu panay
main 10 minut lagay.....aor. ......aag bujhany walon per qabu panay
main
40 minut lagay
88 Aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par phool daal raha hota he
Aur brabar men bhi aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par chawal daal raha
hota he.
Pehla Aadmi doosre se kehta he " Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab
uthe ga?"
Doosra dost:"Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga
89 uncle aik bachay se kehte hain : beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar
mujhe pasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon ga
bacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay .... !!!!
90 aik dost dosray se : yaar har party mien tum yehi kurta kyun pehantay
ho dosra dost : kyun ke yeh mera khandani kurta hai mere par dada ne
pehna phir dada ne pehna phir mere walid ne pehna iss liye main bhi pehanta hoon
pehla dost : ohh acha .. khier yeh batao k tumhari umar hogai hai
shadi ki tum kartay kyun nahi ..kya koi larki pasand nahi ati
dosra dost : nahi yaar larkiyaan to bohat pasand ati hain
pehla dost : to phir kyun nahi kartay
dosra dost : yaar mere par dada ne nahi ki dada ne nahi ki mere walid
ne nahi ki to phir main kaise karloon ??
91 Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway
station ticket counter with two men ahead of him.
'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front.
He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.'
the second man asked & was handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!'
'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.
'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh
92 The Equation:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!
93 Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.
94 Exams:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!
95 A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of
AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom
96 Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
97 Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we dont need it.
98 Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
99 Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?
Customer : What other colours do you have?
100 My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
